Tuesday, December 22, 2009

This Day A Year Ago

This day a year ago was the day that I found out I was pregnant with Perron. A day that would change our lives forever, sometimes for the harder, but always for the better. The day I learned that my dream of having a child had come true. A true Christmas miracle, and the best gift I have ever received. We had been going through the infertility process since August (a micro-second in the land of infertility) and I had just had my first round of Clomid. Several days prior I had had my progesterone levels checked and they were very high compared to where they had been. I was surprised, but didn't put together that that might mean I was pregnant. Fast forward about 20 days. I was supposed to have my period over the weekend and they had told me to call no matter what day if I was late. I of course didn't think anything of it, and didn't call over the weekend. I waited until Monday morning to call and they told me to come in. Since I refused to take home pregnancy tests because I was tired of the disappointment I felt month after month, when it would be negative; they told me to come in. I would give a urine sample and if that showed anything they would take bloodwork and try to get a confirmation. I didn't tell anyone that I was going in for the testing. In fact, I talked to Stephen in the car on the way to the hospital and didn't mention a thing about it. In fact, he thought I was sitting in my office talking to him. I was so convinced that the test would be negative that I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up, including my own.

So into the infertility department I went to pee on my little stick. I took it out to the nurse and started gathering up my things. I didn't even look at the stick before I handed it to her. So I am getting ready to leave and she says "I think I see something". My heart lept and my stomach dropped. I walked over and sure enough there was a faint line. I could not believe my eyes. So she starts talking about blood work and HCG levels and talking to the doctor and blah blah blah. She kept talking to me like I was pregnant, but I still didn't believe it. She told me that they would call me sometime after 2pm with the results. I was crazy enough to tell her that I would be in meetings all afternoon and to just go ahead and leave the news on my voicemail. Was I insane or what !?! I was too scared to get my hopes up because I knew I would be devastated if it turned out to be a false positive. I just kept thinking it was too soon, I had only had one round of clomid, it wasn't supposed to be this easy. So I left the office fully expecting them to call me back when my bloodwork came in and tell me it had been a mistake. The only thing I allowed myself to do was go and get a little cross that had a bible verse that said "For this child, I have prayed". If the test results were positive, I wanted to have a neat way to tell Stephen.

So I went back to work...and I had all my meetings...and they did leave the news on my voicemail....I was pregnant. I saved that voicemail for a long time and would listen to it periodically. It was the message that would change Stephen's and my life forever. I came home from work and told Stephen that I had bought him a little present that I wanted him to open for Christmas. On the cross, I had taped my pregnancy test from the hospital. What I didn't realize is that I had put tape over the area where you could see the results of the test. Whoops! So he opened it and was looking at it very confused. I finally blurted out...I'm pregnant. He was shocked and excited to say the very least.

And that was the first chapter in the beginning of a very long, sometimes scary, often hard journey that brought us the most precious gift we have ever received. It is amazing how much can change in one year.


  1. I love that story... and you are so right, it is AMAZING how much can change in one year! There is a Johnson & Johnson commercial that says simply, "A baby changes everything." And it is sooooo true on each and every beautiful level! Enjoy Perron's first Christmas!

  2. I've been having the same exact thoughts about how much can change in a year! It's hard to believe this time a year ago that little bitty blob of cells turned into our sweet, precious little boys (well, I don't think I was pregnant quite yet this time last year)! Hope you, Stephen, and Perron have a wonderful Christmas!