This Day A Year Ago

This day a year ago was the day that I found out I was pregnant with Perron. A day that would change our lives forever, sometimes for the harder, but always for the better. The day I learned that my dream of having a child had come true. A true Christmas miracle, and the best gift I have ever received. We had been going through the infertility process since August (a micro-second in the land of infertility) and I had just had my first round of Clomid. Several days prior I had had my progesterone levels checked and they were very high compared to where they had been. I was surprised, but didn't put together that that might mean I was pregnant. Fast forward about 20 days. I was supposed to have my period over the weekend and they had told me to call no matter what day if I was late. I of course didn't think anything of it, and didn't call over the weekend. I waited until Monday morning to call and they told me to come in. Since I refused to take home pregnancy tests because I was tired of the disappointment I felt month after month, when it would be negative; they told me to come in. I would give a urine sample and if that showed anything they would take bloodwork and try to get a confirmation. I didn't tell anyone that I was going in for the testing. In fact, I talked to Stephen in the car on the way to the hospital and didn't mention a thing about it. In fact, he thought I was sitting in my office talking to him. I was so convinced that the test would be negative that I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up, including my own.

So into the infertility department I went to pee on my little stick. I took it out to the nurse and started gathering up my things. I didn't even look at the stick before I handed it to her. So I am getting ready to leave and she says "I think I see something". My heart lept and my stomach dropped. I walked over and sure enough there was a faint line. I could not believe my eyes. So she starts talking about blood work and HCG levels and talking to the doctor and blah blah blah. She kept talking to me like I was pregnant, but I still didn't believe it. She told me that they would call me sometime after 2pm with the results. I was crazy enough to tell her that I would be in meetings all afternoon and to just go ahead and leave the news on my voicemail. Was I insane or what !?! I was too scared to get my hopes up because I knew I would be devastated if it turned out to be a false positive. I just kept thinking it was too soon, I had only had one round of clomid, it wasn't supposed to be this easy. So I left the office fully expecting them to call me back when my bloodwork came in and tell me it had been a mistake. The only thing I allowed myself to do was go and get a little cross that had a bible verse that said "For this child, I have prayed". If the test results were positive, I wanted to have a neat way to tell Stephen.

So I went back to work...and I had all my meetings...and they did leave the news on my voicemail....I was pregnant. I saved that voicemail for a long time and would listen to it periodically. It was the message that would change Stephen's and my life forever. I came home from work and told Stephen that I had bought him a little present that I wanted him to open for Christmas. On the cross, I had taped my pregnancy test from the hospital. What I didn't realize is that I had put tape over the area where you could see the results of the test. Whoops! So he opened it and was looking at it very confused. I finally blurted out...I'm pregnant. He was shocked and excited to say the very least.

And that was the first chapter in the beginning of a very long, sometimes scary, often hard journey that brought us the most precious gift we have ever received. It is amazing how much can change in one year.